Author Archives: Brian Lynchehaun

Anxiety, an Internal Struggle

Mental Health, personal Leave a reply

I wish I understood the mechanisms of anxiety, at least within myself. I believe, perhaps mistakenly, that understanding these mechanisms would make it easier to resolve them, to overcome them. So that they’d stop ruling my life.

I had intended to leave my apartment about 5 hours ago to go get a haircut. It still hasn’t happened. Or, more accurately, I still haven’t gotten up and left.

It’s a bizarre feeling. It’s like that if I “decide” to do something, that decision gets consciously processed in the usual way and then….. nothing happens. I don’t rise out of my chair. My legs don’t move into position to lift me up. But if my legs are uncomfortable in their current position, I can move them just fine.

I can decide to type, or not to type, or to think about pretty much anything, but once I start thinking about “going outside”, suddenly there’s a *crowd* of other thoughts that urgently need my attention. Like I should take a shower. Or I should check my email. Or read an article. Or just play 15min of a game.

Looking at the door doesn’t cause me any consternation or fear. I’ve opened the door several times today to step out to get some air. That’s a non-issue. But once I decide that this move is to leave? Nope, nothing happens. Or, more accurately, something that *isn’t* me getting up to leave happens. E.g. this article.

There’s no obvious cause in my consciousness for this, no “nope, let’s do something else”-thought, I’m just suddenly flipping through twitter, or facebook, or doing a random search for details on my insurance, or….. So there’s nothing to discuss or argue against, to make my case in favour of a months-overdue haircut. The haircut is cheap, so the cost isn’t an issue.

And I am on edge, anxious. And I know that the moment I decide “ok, fine, not today”, I’ll feel my entire body relax, as if it were bracing for a massive burst of muscle-energy that is now no longer needed.

And it’ll be another day without a haircut. And if I can’t handle going outside, 100m from my home, for that, what fucking hope does the rest of my life have?

Maximize Charitible Giving on Humble Bundle (A Guide)

Charity, civil rights, Gaming Leave a reply

There’s been a crisis in the US for a number of years, and Trump’s administration is expanding and worsening it. As we’ve seen over the last few days, the response of the American people (and around the world) has been a large rejection of his policies, largely through donations to charitable organisations working for human rights (e.g. the ACLU raised 6 years worth of donations over a single weekend).

But let’s say you’re kinda, sorta interested in donating, but worried about whether your money will be well spent. Perhaps you’re just a bit skeptical of charity work in general, your budget is a bit tight and you want to make sure every penny counts, or you’d like to see something tangible in exchange for your donation? These are not unreasonable positions, and this post is for you.

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Retraction of “The Irrelevance of the American Presidential Race”

Uncategorized Leave a reply

Given what’s happening in the USA, I’m retracting the article I titled “The Irrelevance of the American Presidential Race“. I was completely wrong on this point, and am leaving the article online (though completely struckthrough) as a reminder.

While only time will tell whether these orders will be completely overturned, and I’m completely shocked that the various departments would just robotically enforce the executive orders, the thrust of my previous argument was that the President simply didn’t have the power to do what Trump is currently doing. Again: I’m completely wrong.

The Dangerous Seductiveness of Rage

Mental Health, personal, psychology Leave a reply

I’ve spent most of my life dealing with ‘rage’ issues. I’ve never been physically violent, but verbal vitriol, especially online, has been an issue in the past (and something that I continue to work on, of course). So I know of what I speak when I talk about the seductiveness of rage, and the appeal of anger, and the problems that can accompany them.

For the skimmers: if you conclude from this article that I believe that one should never feel or act on anger, then you have not read this article correctly.

In retrospect, I spent much of my teenage years and early twenties in a mild depression. The why of that is not pertinent to this article, but it’s important to understand that depression doesn’t simply mean ‘feeling sad’. Oftentimes there’s no feeling at all: feeling sad would be a positive change of affairs, because then I would have actually felt *something*.

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Trump DOES Represent American Values

culture, History, personal, politics Leave a reply

This video is intended for Americans (and only Americans) expressing the sentiment that ‘this is not the America I know’ or that ‘Trump does not represent American values’. To the Americans expressing these sentiments: where have you been all your life?

Why only Americans? Because they should be familiar with the history of their country, far more than those of us outside of it.

 

Voting Third Party is Letting the USA Burn

culture, Rhetoric Leave a reply

On November 8th, the American people are going to cast a relatively unimportant vote that nevertheless will tell us 1) how bigoted they are, generally, and 2) whether they understand ‘logic’ and ‘opportunity cost’. While the former should be fairly self-evident, I’d like to talk about the latter a little here.

If you read around on the internet, you’ll find many articles claiming that a vote for a 3rd party candidate is a waste of a vote, or a vote for ‘the other candidate’, and people defending that choice disagree.

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If You Can’t Do Your Job Well, Work For Forbes

crapitalism Leave a reply

Every so often, a sponsored Forbes post will pop up in my facebook feed, and it’s usually just some crappy clickbait title with some bullshit advice that only someone with a business degree would be tricked into thinking it’s useful.

But the latest one is just amazing. It’s the same old Buzzfeed-bullshit, where you have to click through 10 pages in order to see 10 short sentences (and generate 10-pages-worth of advertisement impressions….), but the author just lets the cat out of the bag on page 1:

“Readers have admonished me for failing to research each profession, but to do that properly, I’d need weeks if not months of reporting. I’d want to talk to at least two dozen people in each of the fields listed and to evaluate many other job titles, and my publishing schedule is such that I simply don’t have the time.” – Susan Adams

This kind of admission is amazing, and I’d like to dig into it a little more.

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Trigger Warnings and ‘Hardening Up’

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There’s a deep and profound irony that the people who insist that those who wish merely to be warned prior to being exposed to potentially triggering content are ‘weak’ and ‘need to be challenged’, while that the same time merely pointing out that the argument that they’re presenting is merely echoing factfree, right-wing talking points merits abuse and defriending.

It’s kinda weird* how quickly they object to being mildly challenged on holding ignorant and vapid viewpoints, but insist that other people are the ones that need hardening up. But not them, no no. That they fall apart in the face of mere disagreement is totally acceptable……

 

*No, not weird at all…..

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LGBTQ Identity and Me

personal Leave a reply

It’s currently Vancouver Pride weekend here, and that’s as good a time as any for self-reflection, especially with regards to self-identity and orientation. This article is entirely about me and how I see myself with regards to the LGBTQ labels, and no opinion about how I do (or do not) see other people should be inferred.

Moreover, this article deals with my sex-life, so if that’s not something you’re interested in stop reading here.

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